Sales Proposal Email
GmailPersuasive ToneMajor Rewrite
Before (Original)
Hi, I am pleased to send you the proposal for our services as discussed. Please find attached our comprehensive proposal outlining our features and capabilities. We believe our solution will be a great fit for your needs. Please review and let us know your thoughts.
After (TextGlow Rewrite)Persuasive
Hi Angela, as promised — the proposal is attached. I've structured it around the three outcomes you flagged: reducing onboarding time, cutting churn in the first 90 days, and giving your CS team a live visibility dashboard. Each section ties our solution to your specific numbers from our call. The executive summary on page 2 is written for your VP if you need to share it upward. Happy to walk through it live on Thursday.
What Changed
- 1Connected the proposal directly to the prospect's stated priorities instead of generic "features and capabilities"
- 2Enabled internal selling by noting what is written for the VP — showing sales intelligence
- 3Replaced "let us know your thoughts" with a specific offer (Thursday walkthrough)
Why Persuasive tone works here
Persuasive proposals make the reader feel the proposal was built for them — because it should be.
About Persuasive Tone
Leads with the reader's interests, not the writer's. Uses evidence and specificity to make the case feel logical.
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